Venkatesan (birth name of Sri Mahaprabu) was born on 11th July, 1974 in Namakkal, Tamil Nadu (his maternal home) and grew up in Pudhuamma Palayam, Perambalur District, near Trichy. He came from a typical conservative, middle-class family. His schooling from 2nd grade through 12th, was in nearby Thurayoor. He was the eldest child, with a sister and brother.

When Sri Mahaprabu recalls his childhood, the one thing that stands out was his loving nature, a loving heart for all things and beings, especially human beings. His love was such that he would touch a leaf and embrace it, pray to any mountain he saw, shed tears at the sight of any suffering. He was especially loving to his parents, who were no less than God for him. From young he could only speak the Truth, even if it seemed to cause harm in certain situations. He was especially close to his grandfather, who was a very quiet and hard-working man who largely kept to himself. He too was very fond of the boy. Sri Mahaprabu remembers a song that his grandfather used to sing to him often. Ulagalam unarndhu vodhuvadharku ariyavam… Years later, when Sri Mahaprabu entered the big temple at Tiruvannamalai for the very first time, imagine his surprise when he saw this song inscribed on the temple walls. He took it as a very good sign.

He was also highly energetic and cheerful, always on the move and was never one to waste any time. His loving nature combined with this energy propelled him to help others a lot. He would help as much as he could at home and outside. In school he always excelled in academics, thanks to a sharp focus he had which kept him very attentive in class. At home he would daily recollect and assimilate what was taught. This was enough. He did not have to study much for exams and yet would top his class. This continued all the way till high school where he earned several accolades in education and extra-curricular activities.

When he was 12 years old, his dear grandfather died. Seeing death for the first time, especially the death of one who was so dear to him had a deep impact on the child. He saw the anguish of those around the body, how it was taken from the house and cremated. So many questions began to torment him. Can he hear us crying? Where will he go now? He was almost mad in the burial ground, and at the same time was observing things with the objective mind of a scientist. Won’t this happen to me? It is going to happen for sure. This was the first time he sensed these kinds of questions in him about life. This event was the main reason why he turned to Jnāna.

He also had an inner fear of death. He feared for the death of his parents, his brother and sister, his own death. As fate would have it, he would soon witness so much death around him. His grandmother committed suicide 8 years later. A close friend and classmate died in an accident. The entire body was burnt. Mahaprabu himself took the body to the hospital for the post-mortem and then to the burial ground and cremated him. His virakthi (frustration) was at its peak. When is my time to die? I was speechless for 3 days. All your education, skill, money will all go to mud. Born as a fool, you will die as a fool. This kept pricking me so painfully. Soon another good friend would die by drowning in a lake nearby. Mahaprabu remembers the incident clearly. He saw a crowd at the lake and asked what happened. He remembers immediately taking off his shirt and diving into the deep waters to save him. But alas, he could only retrieve the dead body. All this had a tremendous impact on the young mind. The questions about life and death became stronger and compelling.

After completing his schooling with honors (he not only topped his class but also was one of the toppers in the entire district), in 1991 he joined a two-year program at a college of Pharmacy, where he began to learn about the human body and medicine. Especially notable was the training program before graduation. He was assigned to the post-mortem unit of a big hospital. The 90 days that followed, would change him forever.

Day in and day out he witnessed so much death. Bodies would come and pile up. Many were accident or suicide victims. He was asked to do post-mortems on them. Slicing open bodies, hands drenched in blood, he would remove organs such as the intestines, heart, brain and examine them. This happened on a daily basis. Soon he lost all sense of normalcy. He would wake up, sit in the bus like one who is possessed, go to work where he put in long hours working in such a horrifying environment and return home, only to go back the next day. He was like a zombie.

On the one hand he saw the world racing forward with people entertaining hope and enjoyment, while death kept coming unannounced, unmercifully through accidents, crimes and natural causes. He was shaken to the core of his being.

After graduating, he spent a few months working in various nearby villages that did not have access to doctors or medical help. He soon realized the inability of modern medicines to cure diseases. Added to that, he saw their harmful side-effects. This created a serious conflict in him. One of ethics. He could not accept such a profession for the rest of his life. So he made a strong decision to change career paths. With great difficulty he convinced his father that he would pursue an Engineering degree.

As fate would have it, Tiruvannamalai saw its first engineering college open that very year as though it was built just for Mahaprabu to come to Tiruvannamalai. He got admission there and soon found himself on a bus heading to a place known for its great jnanis (jnana bhoomi) but without the slightest notion about it, or about Jnana. Yet there was this unmistakable deep thirst in him to know who he really was. For the next 10 years he would be consumed with finding the answers to those questions that reverberated in him stronger and stronger. Who Am I. Where did I come from? How did I enter this mother’s womb? When I die what will happen? Will I enter another womb? Then what is the purpose of this life attached to these parents, if I am going to repeat it all over again with another family? My entire foundation was destroyed. How many lives I would have lived and died and married and died, different relations, so many fears, jealousies, anger, revenges. No love at all. And yet he could feel the love deep inside him. He wondered why it doesn’t come out. He decided that whatever happens, I will find out who I am.

The 4 years from 1993-1997 was simply a way to get away from home and be in solitude, while searching for the answers to life’s questions that consumed me. Even though I was a student who topped his class and had aspirations for a successful career when young, now things had changed entirely. I had no interest whatsoever in a commercial path. I used to think:  All that I need is a small room to stay, 2 times a day food for this small stomach, 2 shirts, 2 dhotis and 2 towels. Imagine, this was my attitude at the age of 19!

As soon as I reached Tiruvannamalai I heard about a jnani named Yogi Ram Surat Kumar. I remember people saying that meeting a Jnani was a good thing for seekers. I had darshan of him. Then I saw the entrance to Ramanashramam. I went in. There was a board there that described the death experience that Bhagavan had as a young boy, and how he left home to come to Tiruvannamalai. That gave me hope that I had finally come to the right place too, Tiruvannamalai. I prayed to Bhagavan sincerely, but beyond that there was no connection.

As I started his studies, the inner frustration continued. I felt the entire world was empty and life was meaningless. All are going to die but they are ignoring that totally with not even a mosquito bite of a sensation, they are all living as though they are permanent. I decided to go to the famous Siva Temple in Tiruvannamalai. I remember going in through the North entrance. This was the first time I am entering the temple. There I saw many verses were inscribed on the walls. But there was this verse right in front of me. I read it:

Jnana tabodanarai va endru azaikum malai Annamalai.
Annamalai is the mountain that welcomes seekers of Jnana.

Suddenly, all the energy that I had lost in 3 years, flowed through the body in a rush. It felt like it was 1 Lakh watts of electricity. Though the mind created this feeling, it was a huge tonic for me. A huge boost. I decided to focus on this exclusively from now on.

But in his 2nd year he would face setbacks in the form of health. An accident in the gym hurt affected his right hand for a long time. That same year he developed an illness that made him bed-ridden for 15 days. He couldn’t even get up. It was as though he was paralyzed. A fever would come and go. As a result of all this, his studies began to take a hit. And then tragedy struck again the next year. Another close friend was involved in an accident. Mahaprabu rushed him to Chennai and admitted him in a hospital. Fortunately, the boy would survive. Mahaprabu returned the very next day to Tiruvannamalai to write his final exam. He remembered sitting in the examination hall, shirt full of blood stains. He failed that exam. More failures would follow. The arrears (failed subjects) piled up. There were 14 of them he had to clear. Despite all his frustrations he knew that he had to successfully complete his degree. It was a matter of survival. He began to study and take up the arrear exams in addition to his current semester exams. He remembers sitting in those examination halls like a dead body. Only the hand would move while writing the exam. There was no enthusiasm at all. He felt like he was possessed. Total frustration. He was doing it just to complete the cycle. A dead body taking up the pen to write something. That was how it happened. And yet he passed all his exams, unbelievably clearing all 14 arrears alongside. He could now graduate.

As graduation neared, he wondered what he was going to do. Mahaprabu had almost become mad. One thing is for sure. One day this body will go. Before that I need to find out Who I am. I will not leave Thiruvannmalai till I find out. Even if this body dies it is OK. I just wanted minimum money for one meal and to stay in Tiruvannamalai. Friends in college were applying for jobs in big cities and abroad. Many of them left. I had no interest in all that. I finally turned to Lord Siva (Annamalai Temple) with extreme devotion. I sat there crying and begged. “Please do not make me leave Tiruvannamalai without knowing who I am. Keep me here even as a beggar, but please don’t send me away.” At that time a friend of his happened to come to the temple. Seeing the tears on my face, he said ‘Come with me. I will take you to someone who can help you.’ Mahaprabu was then introduced to Thiruvadithuli Swami. A great Bhakta (devotee of Lord Panduranga). Even though he did not conduct Satsang or answer Mahaprabu’s deep questions, he found a joy in serving him. For nearly 5 years he served Thiruvadithuli Swami continuously. He remembers helping wherever possible. Be it in the kitchen or cleaning all the toilets regularly especially on crowded days.

Miraculously (just like how an engineering college was opened in Tiruvannamalai the very year that he was looking for admission) a private polytechnic college was opened in Tiruvannamalai, and he was offered a job as a lecturer there. Now he was assured that he could stay in Tiruvannamalai and pursue his Sadhana. Nothing else was more important. His gratitude towards the Supreme Power became stronger and stronger.

And from that year 1997 onwards, something began to pull him inside to just sit. He did not know it was meditation back then, but it kept pulling him to sit. So many times, whenever there was a chance, he would sit quietly. After graduation when everyone left the hostel, he stayed alone in that big building (he was the hostel warden too) for 45 days. Most of that time was spent sitting silently. Soon he was at a stage where he could not avoid sitting.

His Seva to Thiruvadithuli Swami continued till 2002. In those 5 years he would visit Ramanashramam mainly because Thiruvadithuli Swami conducted Satsang in the nearby Annamalai Swami Ashram.

For someone who was so single-pointed about knowing the Truth, and who lived his life like a total renunciate, it is surprising that the thought of Marriage would enter his life. This is how Mahaprabu recalls it happening.

During the engineering college years from 1993-1997 while coming by bus from his town to Tiruvannamalai, he would usually sleep. But each and every time, he would automatically wake up at a particular place called Ulundurpet, when the bus passed by the temple built for Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. He felt a strong connection to Sri Paramahamsa. He decided to visit the temple. It was January 1st. While sitting in the hall a Swami came by, blessing each devotee. Just as his turn was coming, Mahaprabu remembers a single thought that consumed him. I want to attain Jnana in this very birth itself. At that moment the Swami blessed him. He later found out that it was the celebrated ‘Kalpataru Day’ in remembrance of the day when Sri Paramahamsa blessed everyone under the Kalpataru tree at the Cosipore garden house.

It then happened that year when I was sitting in meditation for a long time, Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa appeared to Mahaprabu and told the following: “You will get married. Children will be born. If you go against it, it will still happen. You cannot stop it, so don’t fight it. Don’t worry about it. But it will not be an obstacle for you. Just live like a bhakta.”

At that time Mahaprabu had the least interest in women, marriage or even the idea about marriage. But he respected the words of this great saint and let things happen. And it happened exactly as predicted, in the year 2000.

I had made it very clear to my family that Saadhana was my main priority in life. Other than my wife and son I had dropped all other family connections long time ago. It happened when one day I saw in a flash about 20 different lives and families I had lived with. All gone. I saw how unreal this notion of father, mother, brother, sister, wife, children was since we drop everything at death and take on new relations. I stopped seeing them. My love for them was still the same. I would call them once every 3 months and enquire. But no visits, no matter what the occasion. There was tremendous pressure from all sides.  ‘Why are you not coming for the wedding? Why aren’t you doing this for us? Why are you always sitting in Dhyanam?’ So much opposition I had to deal with. But as my understanding was very clear, my decision was firm. I knew these were all not real. But I did not know who I was. That was unbearable. I had to find out. The determination was very strong.

Once I felt the peace inside, I was always naturally drawn towards sitting and going deep within. I stayed away from books and external guides. People would often say ‘This book is great; you should read it. You can take it.’ My reply was ‘Please, if you want to see me again, don’t raise this topic again. What I need is already inside here. I know it is not out there. I have gone inside. You also please go inside.’

Every day I would wake up at 4 AM and sit in Dhyanam. At 5:30 I would pick up a friend on the bike and go to the forest. He would sit at a certain spot. I would go further inside and sit. We would be there till 8 AM. Then come home and leave for work. At the college I told all the staff that I will only speak during class hours. I am paid to do that. Outside class if anyone wanted to speak to me, please write it on a paper and I will reply in writing. Please help me in my practice by agreeing to this. In the college I would meditate whenever I had time. In the library behind the shelves I would sit. In the lab I would sit behind heavy machinery. On returning home I would wash and almost immediately leave to that same spot in the forest and come back home around 7 pm. Then I would take the wife and son to Ramanashramam. On the way I would get them some snacks. They would site at the entrance. I would sit in Bhagavan’s Samadhi. This was a daily routine. To me Bhagavan was everything. He was my father. It was exactly like a son living with his father and coming to see him in his room. I saw my room and the ashram as part of the same house in Tiruvannamalai. I would speak to Bhagavan from the heart. It was a very deep and affectionate connection. I would sit there till 9:30 PM till they ask me to leave.

I would then ask the family if they wanted to eat something and get them what they wanted. Straight we would head to the Girivalam path where it splits from the main road. Wife and son would sit near some trees, a bit away from me. I would sit there in total stillness. Till 11 pm I would be there. They would never call me or disturb me.

On Sundays as there was no college I would make the most of it. After getting whatever was needed for the home I would leave for Virupaksha cave around 9:30 AM. I would pack some date fruits and water. This was my lunch. Sitting in the cave I would tell myself strongly: You have everything you need for the rest of the day. No work is there. Snacks are there. Only allowance is to go to the toilet. With this determination I would sit in Virupaksha cave for hours together. Around lunch time I would eat the dates, drink the water and again sit. Only in the evening around 5:30 or 6 PM I would get up. The whole body will tremble with hunger. I would come down the steps and go to a tea shop, have a tea to get some energy and go home. This was the routine every Sunday.

The year 2002 was when Venkatesan decided to leave Thiruvadithuli Swami. He had dedicated 5 years to serve him but found himself no closer to finding the Truth about himself. He remembers that day at the Mettur bus stand waiting for the bus to Tiruvannamalai. He knew he would never go back to Thiruvadithuli Swami. 5 precious years had gone by and yet he found himself nowhere closer to the answers he was seeking. There was total confusion about his spiritual sadhana. There was the extreme desire to know the Truth but there was no proper guidance at all. No Guru who could hold his hand and take him. Frustration was at its peak. He began to collapse. He almost felt like he was going to die. I could feel my heartbeat slowing down. It was like a heart attack coming. It was with these thoughts that he nearly collapsed at the bus stand. He simply laid down flat on the bench there.

It was then that the voice of Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi came to him loud and clear. “I am here for you. Why don’t you try me one time?” This gave me the energy to get up and somehow reach Tiruvannamalai.

I went straight to Ramanashramam and prostrated to Bhagavan. There the same voice came again and instructed me to read this book ‘Ramana Vazhi’ by Sri Sadhu Om.

I read the book. Instantly I was able to see where all I had made mistakes in the past 5 years. All my sadhana had been rooted on the idea of a person. I had accepted that this person existed. That was the mistake. I decided that going forward I will never give room to the idea of a person.

The point is that this much strong Vairagya came from previous janmā. Not this one. Not even a living Guru to help him this janmā. Mahaprabu came across many teachers, but always could see that he was ahead of where they were. He had gone very deep. The only thing he was missing was the actual experience. Only the match had to be struck for the fire to catch on.

So Mahaprabu analyzed his mind deeply. He found only two issues. Fear and Worry. Fear was always about the future. Yet I cannot change the future. Worry always stemmed from the past. Yet I cannot change the past. These 2 drag me down all the time as if I were tied to two big rocks. So Mahaprabu made a very strong decision. I should not think of the past or future anymore. Only stay in the present. For 1-year Mahaprabu was only in the present moment. At that time a friend gave him a xerox copy of a book “Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. Mahaprabu did not read it, only saw the cover. The book went into the hands of another friend who took it to read. After a year, Mahaprabu understood that with effort you can control the mind. But how long can you do this? The minute I stop the effort, Fear and Worry will return. I am still not free.

For one year it was a very strict practice. That year all illnesses stopped. No headache, fever, stomach pain, typhoid etc. People used to say there is a lot of Tejas (brightness) in you. ‘

Life was not smooth even then. There were a lot of critical moments. His child died during delivery, one month premature. At 4 a.m. he got the news, and yet from 4:30 to 6 am he still did his meditation. He arranged for money. Did all his paper corrections at the college by putting aside all thoughts. Finally in the evening he reached and moved his wife to a private hospital, took the baby to the burial ground at 9 p.m. Dug a hole and buried his first child. All with complete Awareness. His close friend was with him throughout. He would became a disciple later.

When thoughts came, he just ignored them. Stay in the present. The mind won’t go anywhere. This became a habit. The mind found joy in the present moment. While he was teaching class at college too, for the entire one hour he would be in the present moment, while teaching. Something from the back penetrates and comes out through the mouth. Always fresh. A dynamic Stillness.

And in the evening, no matter what, from 8 to 9 p.m. I was always in front of Bhagavan Ramana’s Samadhi at Ramanashramam. Soon Resagam and Kumbakam happened one day. Then there was a flash: Breathing is not happening, but living is going on. The lungs keep a residual supply of air. Oxygen goes in slowly and carbon dioxide out slowly. At that point he felt every cell vibrating. It was tremendous. And then he sat watching the mountain without any talking, except the consciousness of wanting to be in the present moment. Even that wish or will disappeared. There was a happening. Brahmikka Thakkagara. A flash came and went. Back to present moment.

Then on December 31st evening, (2002) his spiritual friend said, ‘when I sit next to you my mind turns off by itself.’ What? Mahaprabu asked, making sure he was aware in the present moment. This was a longtime friend, especially during all these sadhana years.

This friend then told Mahaprabu about Karl Renz, an enlightened soul who was visiting Ramanashram and would conduct satsangs when he felt like. He was a free soul. Not many could understand him. A great artist and musician. As his friend was telling Mahaprabu, this Karl Renz was coming towards them! It was December 31st, 2002. Karl looked like a very ordinary man with his shirt untucked. The friend introduced them. Karl said, “come for Satsang tomorrow, 10 to 11 AM”

At the time Mahaprabu was in complete surrender to the Supreme Power and had unshakable faith in IT, as IT has given earth, air, body. He replied, ‘If IT permits, I will come.’ No hesitation, liking or disliking. ‘Only tomorrow before 10 a.m. that present moment can permit me.’ His friend said he spoke like a co-Jnani.

The next day at 9:30 it came to Mahaprabu’s awareness that Karl had invited him for Satsang at 10 AM. The place was across Ramanashramam. Downstairs was a mess (food serving place). Upstairs was an open room with just a thatched roof. Mahaprabu bought flowers and fruit and some biscuits and arrived there.

There was one spot left to sit in the last row. 20 feet away from Karl. Mahaprabu didn’t look at Karl’s face. Just sat with closed eyes without missing present moment. (Even to get here, while leaving, starting his bike, climbing the steps, sitting, throughout he was always in the present moment. Nobody can imagine how sincere the practice was. Whole life must become sincere, 100% That too, he was leading a Grihastha life, with the second child conceived and in the 7th month.)

Mahaprabu was just sitting, in full alertness of present moment. Inside there is a tremendous silence. Karl was talking to a lady to his right. “You just simply drop your mind”. These words somehow reached Mahaprabu who was not in the line of hearing, even though there were numerous people talking. Mahaprabu mentioned that only since he was totally attentive in the present moment, these words reached his ears despite him being so far away. A laughter took place deep in the belly. Like a bubble forming deep under water, and on its way to the surface. It was developing into a powerful laugh, but it came out as a smile. Mahaprabu’s thought was that this: “The whole problem is the very mind itself. How can you simply drop it! Sounds unrealistic.”

Then came the words from Karl, as if he had read Mahaprabu’s mind. “Come on, ask the question!” (He probably saw the smile on my face)
Mahaprabu: “Myself?”
Karl: “Yes! You.”
Mahaprabu: “You are telling ‘Drop the mind.’ But how to drop the mind?” (Mahaprabu had not spoken English in 6 years. These were the first words.)
Karl: “First you check whether there is a mind to drop.”

The match was struck.

Mahaprabu checked. I am here. I can feel the body, feel the world, feel my own existence but I am unable to feel the existence of the mind. Ah! It hit him. Beyond words came an understanding that all this time I have been worrying about something that doesn’t exist. I had created an entity called the mind and then tried to control it. Because of the present moment practice for 1 full year his mind always had just one thought, that is to stay in the present moment. For one year, just one thought. As one paper cannot be called a book, one thought cannot be called a Mind. Mahaprabu skipped the present moment thought and became attention. I searched deeply but could not find a trace of a mind. That was it. Then like something faster than light, I went inward. But I am there! Going deeper but I am still there. Before it was in flashes. Now it was continuous. I could stay with it. Joy, Bliss. I lost total awareness of surroundings, crowds etc. I merged in the universe. The thirst that started at 19, was quenched.

Two hours passed. Opened eyes. Karlji hugged me, embraced me and said, “You are good”. The friend who had come had with me had left. From then on for the next 40 days, daily 10 am to 12 noon, Mahaprabu would go there to Karlji’s satsang and sit on the steps, just out of love for him. Did this for 40 days. He took off from work then (12 casual leaves plus Pongal holidays). He remembers a few statements of Karlji that had a deep impact on him: ‘Nothing is lost, and Nothing is gained.’ ‘You cannot Not be yourself.’ And ‘The light of Shiva is not Shiva.’ 

Those 40 days, daily after Satsang he would go home and spend the next 4 hours in deep Samadhi, usually 1 to 5 pm.

Then one day while walking on the Girivalam path, his friend said let’s go see Karlji as he was leaving. They met Karlji. He lifted Mahaprabu and dropped him. Mahaprabu also did the same. Karl told Mahaprabu that of hundreds of people, it feels like he came all the way to see Mahaprabu.

We have to lose the idea that we have a mind. Because Mahaprabu was in total ‘No Mind’ state for 1 year, he was able to drop. The same words “Simply drop the mind” for a normal person wouldn’t have worked, since he assumes the mind exists. For Mahaprabu there was no mind.

Mahaprabu compared the stage just prior to this as an umbrella where the strap is removed. Just the button needed to be pushed, but where the button was, wasn’t known. Karlji said later, he wasn’t keen on making the trip to India that time, but felt that something dragged me to India this time. Now I know what it is. He himself was an enlightened soul.

That year, 2003 for 45 days I was in Samadhi daily. Two and a half feet of a high energy field around the body. Mahaprabu used to touch the outside of it and couldn’t even push through it. It was like a protective zone. He couldn’t operate. No food or urine for 5 hours. As it was going away, Mahaprabu thanked it. Slowly over time it went inside and shrunk but for 45 days it stayed. After it shrunk, he thanked it again. After that just closing eyes would go deep into Samadhi, absent to the world and body but total presence. Thanked that also. And the next three years, till 2006, this happened every day in the morning 4:30 AM to 6 AM and evening 6:30 to 8:00 PM. Casta Samadhi, like stone. Beautiful, Blissful. Just kept saying thanks, Nandri. He was extremely happy. A ripening was taking place for 3 years.

In 2005 Mahaprabu took up a government job in Tirunelveli. He also took on a part-time networking job that came to him. He realized that he started to know whatever was going to happen before it happened. First it felt like I was always getting what I wanted. Then he realized that he knew what was happening.

In 2006, one night during Pournami (full moon), there was a heavy energy flow in all directions as if he blended with the whole universe. Indescribable. A high-energy state. No peak beyond that. If there were any more, the body will have destroyed itself. He had a blissful darshan of Buddha’s Spirit, Consciousness. Mahaprabu wants to open his eyes but he can’t. It comes from the Sky. Then a thought came. “It took me an insatiable thirst and effort. How can I recreate it for others? Am neither a bookist nor buddhist! How can I make others know themselves?” This question came spontaneously from Existence.

Then the response came: “Sitting is your job. Speaking is mine. The words will come.” The very next day morning I left straight for Palipat (a village few kilometers from Ramanashramam). It was beautifully arranged. The very next Saturday the Satsang started. Mahaprabu chose Palipat as the place for Satsang, way back in 2006. He was able to forecast the growth of his Satsang there. So, 2006 onwards it brought me outside. Thanked that too. Otherwise, we won’t be talking now!

Every Saturday and Sunday for 16 years now (as of the creation of this website in 2022) Satsang has been happening without break.

From 2006 – 2010 it was 14 hours of travel by bus to Tiruvannamalai each weekend! I would have Satsang with 2 disciples, sitting on a stone in Girivalam road, with 1 disciple on either side. At night we would sleep in the hall (front room) of a family we knew. We would reach there late when they had slept and get up very early in the morning and leave before they woke up. Back to the road for Satsang. Money was very tight those days. Slowly we moved to a lodge that costed Rs. 250 per day. That was too much so after some time we picked a single bedroom unit, paying Rs 150. Then we settled at Rs 75 for a dormitory style room that had to use a common toilet. I remember standing in line for toilet, in total surrender (so that it can wait!!), and once inside the toilet also was in full surrender since there no lock on the door! (Laughing) Glad there was at least a door.

Many weekends he used to travel by train from Tirunelveli to Tiruvannamalai. Getting a reserved seat on short notice was very difficult. So Mahaprabu had to travel in the unreserved compartments. Since he would leave Sunday night and had to go straight to work Monday morning, he had no choice but to give rest to the body on the floor of the train. Since the unreserved compartments were jam-packed, the only place he would usually find was right next to the toilet. He would place a towel over his face to try and block the smell and put the body to sleep. People would step across his face to enter and leave the toilet. Each time the door opened, the smell would hit the nose!

Like this I was waiting patiently 14 years like Lord Rama. Today in the Resthouse there are 14 toilets! I knew you people will come and things will happen.

In 2010 Mahaprabu was transferred to Chennai. Then he started coming to Tiruvannamalai by 2-wheeler, leaving at 4 AM on Saturday, reaching at 8:30 AM. And on Monday morning he would return, starting at 4 AM reaching his workplace at 8:30 AM. After some years, he switched to a comfortable bus that was introduced. There was no car then. Soon he started spending 3 to 4 days a week in Tiruvannamalai. Later on, when the financial situation with his job improved, he was able to afford a car, which he still drives to Thiruvannamalai.