An in-depth analysis of Lust and how to conquer it
It was past midnight in the time zone that Sri Mahaprabu was when he called me. As always there is silence at first. The issue of lust and the guilt that follows it, had been bothering me. I shared my thoughts with Mahaprabu. What followed was a brilliant explanation of the problem and its solution.
Ungodly?
GR was describing to Mahaprabu how he feels bad about having lusty thoughts at times, and used the word ‘UnGodly’ to describe his feeling about it.
Mahaprabu: Ungodly etc is just your mind saying it. OK. Since you have defined it as ungodly, let us define what Godliness is, in this context. Actually let me define it. Did a sperm get created by Godliness or ungodliness?
GR: Godliness.
Mahaprabu: Did the structure of a woman’s body and its parts get created by Godliness or ungodliness?
GR: Godliness.
Mahaprabu: Then where did the ungodliness come from?
GR: It came from the mind!
Mahaprabu: Forget about the mind and go one step further. This comes from records i.e Vasanas. Record A says ‘Go for it’. Record B says ‘Don’t, it is a bad thing’. You have a shuba vasana that knows ‘Joy isn’t there’ and an Ashuba Vasana that says ‘Lust is joy’. The struggle between these two vasanas goes on and on. And this is just a microcosm of life. All of life is a fight between vasanas. The pendulum swings widely between Lust and Guilt. You are going with it from Left to Right and back again to Left, never centered. Observe it instead and it will stop.
GR: How? I feel like I myself am the pendulum!
Mahaprabu: Actually penduluma thalravanae needhan. So yeppadi niruthuva. You are the one pushing the pendulum, so how will you stop it. (Laughing!!) So, when you think that the pendulum should stop, is where you are making the mistake. If you stop pushing it, only then it will stop and stop by its own. Like a boy who swings on a banyan tree vine, when he lets go and jumps off, the vine still swings for a while due to momentum and soon comes to a complete stop. Just like that, you stop pushing and the pendulum will stop. This is where honesty is needed from you. i.e. When it stops, do not do things to activate it again, e.g. watching a lusty movie, etc. The pendulum will get confused! It will start moving immediately. Instead, let it go naturally and bring Mahaprabu’s memory. You will do it if you are honest. The pendulum will stop. The more you bring Mahaprabu in, the more you will be in the Center.
Conquering Lust
If you can conquer this (lust), i.e. when the oscillation stops, you don’t restart it, 95% of your sadhana would be over. All happens with lust as the center. True! Lust is the cause of so many miseries. It is what makes you enter a vagina again. Your desire for a breast puts you right back in the position where you feed from it again. It is this lust that brings you back into rebirth. That is what brings you back again to the earth and binds you to karmas. You keep coming back to earth and each time it’s like you are in a maze, lost. If you want to cross the earth once and for all, you have to cross lust. If you do it, 95% of your sadhana is done. All your karmas, sanchita, agami are all designed to take you to the next janma. That’s why even in Dhyanam, lustful thoughts will come. The only way out is to transcend it.
As the thought arises, do Japa of Mahaprabu continuously. You will be in the center and the speed of the pendulum will reduce. Even if you have to engage in sex, what the body does there is not important. Your state of mind then is most important. Bring the feeling of Mahaprabu there throughout the act, even during ejaculation. That anandam is also a gift from the Guru, God. You can’t be in Vizippu unarvu (Awareness) then, so bring in the Guru. Even that deed is done in the presence of Mahaprabu. Not thinking of him as form but as the Grace that is always there and does not sleep. That is Mahaprabu. Believe that Mahaprabu is the witness to the act. Bring that strong presence of Mahaprabu as the witness. If you want to realize the Truth, there is no other way.
All these lustful thoughts are happening? Fine. Bring that feel of ‘that Mahaprabu’ and be honest about bringing that feel there. Only if you are honest this will happen, since your mind will tell you ‘let’s forget Mahaprabu for a few minutes, we can always bring him back after the act’. Honesty is key. The honesty should be appropriate for the Uyir, Life that sustains all.
Focus on this problem of lust. It has the most energy. Conquer it and you are almost home. Are you happy when angry? No. Are you happy when you are jealous? No. That’s why you drop all those vices. But with Lust, you are happy!! That’s why you won’t leave it. You have strongly recorded that Lust leads to Happiness. You need to fight it. But you won’t fight or cooperate by yourself. Get the Guru’s help. If you conquer it, you will see that Kama is nothing but a ray of Brahmananda. It is the Gate to the temple. You have to go through it. Don’t get stuck and keep going back to the gate. Past it is the Temple and Mahaprabu is sitting there as God. He knows. All other vices are easily crossed. This is where you need the most help from Mahaprabu.
GR: Only because of you I even understand all this and that I need help.
Mahaprabu: Yes, so imagine Mahaprabu is there in the room as energy. Only way is that. Don’t say ‘Ungodliness’. Don’t say ‘It is all mind created’. Mind is a convenient scapegoat for the ego. Mind has been created just so the ego can say ‘I am good, but he is the cause’. Instead look at what the real issue is. It is Vasanas. Good. You have started the work. Now you know. No more guilt. Encourage yourself. Don’t discourage.
Will your mother or father sit with you at 2:30 AM and explain this so clearly to you for 2 hours? Have you helped anyone like this? This is Grace. Without seeing the time or place it gives. You must soak in this Grace. If you smell a rose you are near. You will touch it soon. In other words, if Ātma is a flower, its fragrance is Grace. The more you are closer to Grace, you will attain the flower. As you get closer to the flower you will see that only the Fragrance is important. Fragrance is the flower. Similarly Grace is God. To realize Grace, become Grace. As you stay more and more with a Guru you will attain Grace since he is Grace.
My Asirvadham (blessing) is that you also should attain the same that I Am. Keep these notes. Let it help the world.
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