Suffering and its Solution- Sri Mahaprabu

Suffering and its Solution

I was on a downward spiral the last few days. The mind using that as an excuse dropped the sadhana, which brought in guilt to make things worse. Sri Mahaprabu had called to speak with me, and the topic was ‘Suffering.’ I shared my situation with him. He spoke for nearly an hour during which we laughed at my own follies and Sri Mahaprabu as always gave such a clear understanding of the problem and the solution.

Background

I was feeling terribly down the last few days. Despite Sri Mahaprabu’s continuous reminders to stay focused on our purpose, I had willfully gotten myself into a project. It sucked up all the time and the mind totally embraced the distraction since it didn’t have to sit down and meditate, pray, etc. As a result, I stopped doing my daily dhyanam (meditation) routine. Instead I was consumed by this project. Soon enough the guilt and worry overtook me. I felt miserable, which in turn prevented me from getting back. Also I had not spoken to Sri Mahaprabu one-on-one in some time. This aggravated things further.

That morning, Sri Mahaprabu called while driving back to Chennai from Tiruvannamalai.
A lot of good things are happening (I am guessing he is referring to the continuous Satsangs for 50+ days during the Covid lockdown). Ulagathuku vandhadhurkaana kaaranangal nadaipetturikku. The purpose for which we came to this earth is being fulfilled. (Referring to the attempt to know the Truth about ourselves.) People keep coming back to the earth millions of times and getting caught, again and again. Imagine going to Kutralam Falls millions of times. The Earth, Bhoomi is a grain of sand in the universe. It is limited. Our infinite nature is limitless. That is our originality. But we have become trapped and keep coming back to this earth again and again, starting from scratch. Even if you come just once, you should be happy. Treat it like a fun, tourist place. Instead we get caught into suffering. Ignorance is the cause.

(On hearing this I decided to bring up the mental agony I was going through. After sharing it, I said ‘I am observing myself go down. I can see it.’)

Beautiful explanation of Suffering

Don’t observe. Pray. You said it is unbearable. Then why are you sitting there simply observing it? Does watching it make it better? No. A deep prayer is needed. All kinds of weapons must be used to fight the enemy. You see Gods, with 12 hands, each hand with a different kind of weapon! Nallapadiya Nadakkum (all will be well.) It is just a block. 25 years back you wouldn’t have known this block. I have told you, anytime you need to speak to me, call immediately. Only by talking to me, will certain things clear up.

SC: I feel that all these problems are really self-created. For example I feel bad that I have an ego and suffer that I am like this!

Mahaprabu (laughing): See how strong, how tricky that ignorance is. Don’t analyze it. Surrender, Surrender. Tell yourself. “I will only listen to Mahaprabu. OK ego, you do whatever you want. I have Mahaprabu. He has told me: ‘Whoever has a deep-rooted ego, that’s where he likes to focus!’” Tell it that.

Let’s look at it. Actually the ego you mention, does not even exist. It is just a bad dream. Whether it is bad or really really bad, does not matter. It is a dream. To put it another way, whether you earn 10 Rs or 10 Lakh Rs or 10 Crore Rs in a dream, all are the same. They have Zero value when you wake up. (Laughing) Once you wake up from the dream you cannot do anything with that money. Nothing. Similarly the only value you need to give your ego and suffering is Zero. You will be free one day. The ego is like a dream. It is imagination.

Thookathil Karpanai = Kanavu [In sleep when you imagine it is called a Dream]
Viziippil Karpanai = Ahandhai [In waking state when you imagine it is called Ego]

SC: So, the opinion of myself that I have all these Kama, Krodha, Loba, Moha etc. is all an Imagination?? (Desire, Anger, Greed, Delusion, etc)
Mahaprabu: Of course!! All a dream!. But this suffering in the waking state has a slight advantage over suffering in a dream. Because in your dream at night I cannot come and tell you it is a dream.
SC: Wow! All an imagination. Even though I know it in theory, when you say it, it hits me.

First step liye nee vazukki vizundhutta. You have slipped and fallen down in the very first step and rolled down 50 steps. Then there is a landing. Then from there you have fallen another 20 steps. Urundu vandhutta. You rolled down those 20 steps. Now you are telling me you fell 20 steps. I am seeing that you have fallen 70 steps! since 20 is just from the landing. Because you have already lost Awareness. Thani Nabar (individuality) is not something that exists. If it really existed, then I can understand. For eg. if you have a wound on your body from an injury, and if I say “that injury is not real” you can object. But ahankaram (ego or individuality) is an illadha onnu. It does not exist. But you have accepted it for a long time and lived with it. So then, what should be your Saadhana? Nabar thanmayin adipadaiyil seyalpaduvadhai muzuvadhumaaga vittu pazagudhal. (Mahaprabu is reminding me of Step 1 of his 3-step process.)

Call Nabar Thanmai as X (Ego).
Call Y, this ‘Ayyo, nabar thanmai vandhudche’ (Oh! my mind/ego is messing me up again), and the resulting suffering.
Call Z, ‘Andha suffering vandhudche ennu suffer pandora’, Oh! the Suffering has started (Laughing).
See you are suffering because of Z right now. (Laughing). Z came from Y. Not from X. See, Y and Z become a bundle. Both are suffering. See how bad X is. Now I ask you to put all the sufferings into a bag labeled ‘Suffering’. Which would you put? You would only put Y and Z, but who is the culprit? X. You should throw him also in the bag!!! (Laughing). X is the first generation that gave birth to Y, which then gave birth to Z. So if Y and Z are suffering, its parent that gave birth, that produced it is also Suffering. Therefore X (Ego, Nabar Thanmai, Individuality) is Suffering too. You are feeling and fretting about Y (Suffering) which gave birth to Z. But which should you have felt about the most? X. But you left it out. That’s where Awareness, Vizippu Unarvu is needed. You worried about Y and gave birth to Z. So much attention you gave to Y and Z, why didn’t you give it to X?

SC: Because I am tightly identified with X so I didn’t see it as a separate troublemaker.
Mahaprabu: Adhu dhaan That’s it!

How to come out of Suffering

That’s why to break that, to make that separation, the only way is to work closely with the Guru while being in total Surrender. It (suffering) won’t let you go. Even I cannot separate it suddenly from you. I can’t hit it. Why? You have protected it with comfort and in a sophisticated way, like a spoilt child. Mahaprabu can’t put too much pressure. You won’t be able to tolerate it. I need to take you out little by little. Even though your mind wants a quick solution, your heart has to cooperate. The inner system has to cooperate and that is what is happening. See, you yourself said it, ‘I am so tightly identified with it.’ You are it in your mind. It is hard to untie a knot that is so tightly bound. Slowly we have to shake it, push it, pull it, adjust it. Same way here also. But we don’t need to worry about it. Doesn’t matter how tight it is. The fact remains that ‘I am a person’ is just a thought. Even if it was tight, it is still a thought. So, keep that in mind. It may be tight, no problem! It is only a thought. Just a matter of time. Accept the fact that it needs to be given time. You can’t want it out fast.

SC: Thinking that I want it out fast is itself strengthening it.
Mahaprabu: Exactly. Understanding the inner system is Enlightenment.

Understand this very carefully. You are not stuck somewhere and need to free yourself from it. You are already free. You are behind it all. In front of you there may be a lot of drama. (Laughing). Always go to the back and stay. You are there separate from it all. Don’t forget. Staying without forgetting is Jnānam.

When the knot feels tight, at those times you need to work to loosen it. That means giving it full attention, reminding myself that I am not a separate person, so why go and get stuck in all this. That’s where you must work, that’s the right time to work. Have your Satsang then! If you feel strong you can work. Even being aware that it is tight, heavy, is great. Thank for that Awareness. Pray to the Guru at that point, that next time it comes please give me the energy to loosen it. If you don’t feel strong, Pray. Only if you ask you will get it. It wants to give even if you don’t ask. So if you ask, won’t it give? That’s its nature. Ask it. Demand it. You have the right. We are the reflection of God. A fraction. We are part and parcel of Godliness. We are not a part and parcel of Ugliness. Value that. It is real.

This is the work. This is exactly where you need to work. This is the inner work. You need to excel here. As soon as you identify a knot, get ready. It’s time to work. Don’t divert it with TV, food, etc. (Wow! how does he know!) This is the right time. This is your turn. Sit then. If you have the strength you can work. If not Pray.
SC: That is when I become a victim.
Mahaprabu: This is the insight you needed. Mahaprabu is with you. Do it beautifully. Take notes. Recall, digest, analyze. Make yourself understand at a deep level. Only then it will come when needed. Only if you have bhakti and shraddai, devotion and sincerity, it will stay at the right level and surface when needed. Only he who has Guru bhakti and is in total surrender, only for him this upadesam (teaching) will work. The seed may be great, but the land needs to be fertile. For your part you need to have Bhakti and Shraddhai. That is making the land fertile. In normal times, immerse yourself in Bhakti, Shraddha, whatever works for you. Grow those fast. Like going on a free road. We forget this when things are going well. When there is a block you can’t go fast, so you’ll need to work extra. If you have the strength, work. If not Pray. This will happen only if you develop strength when things are going well.

The good thing is now that you now know all this. The light is there. You should appreciate that. It may not be bright, but you have a ray of understanding. That is enough for now. All these days you didn’t have it. Now trace the ray. Even if the ray disappears, don’t worry about the darkness. Just remember, there is a ray. (Laughing). That’s all you need. We have seen it. It exists. And you’ve seen that when the ray comes, the darkness goes. They can’t coexist. Light is more powerful than darkness. So, which has a permanent existence? Light. Celebrate it. Darkness is temporary. Even in darkness you can celebrate.

SC: Because to know that you are in darkness itself is a ray. So celebrate. Is that what you mean?
Mahaprabu: Exactly. What more do you need! Call me anytime you need. I am there for you. Just pick up the phone and talk. Only then you will get it. Wonderful. Just remember. Nee Illai. You don’t exist. How much you believed that you existed. Did you have any doubt? With that same intensity, be absolutely sure that you don’t exist. Something else is there. Once you know that you have been occupying someone else’s house for so long, and you find out, won’t you feel ashamed? (Laughing). Feel that shame strongly. This is a long process. It all comes down to your honesty. Mahaprabu insists that you must let it go, drop it. No other way. There is no compromise. Stay alert. Be in Satsang. You have to keep working continuously. A lot of work needs to be done. If you drop the work it will strangle your neck.

Sri Mahaprabu

Suffering and its Solution

Suffering and its Solution